I watch, as the vibrant leaves slowly lose their grip and let go of the beautiful trees in my yard, tumbling to the ground as the rain and wind bring an unrelenting assault from cold, grey Autumn skies. A familiar melancholy settles over me, as it does each Fall when the days get colder and winter is at the door. I wrestle with deep sadness and an odd sense of homesickness – even as I sit in the comfort of my cozy home.
So, I cry out to the Lord, and ask Him why I struggle so, with loss, with, despair, with shattered dreams. He listens patiently, with His whole, perfect heart as His little girl ugly cries into His chest.
I wait…and sniffle, and listen…. and slowly, Holy Spirit guides me to look back at my year and think of all that’s happened in our family…
Trauma, brokenness and loss are there, but also, moments of sunshine, joy, encouraging fellowship, victory, protection, growth, love and hope!
Then He whispers with all the sweetness of my loving Abba, “It’s nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”
Pressing into my Heavenly Father when I find myself in pits of despair is a discipline t hat I have often failed to practise. In the past, I have let the dead wood of despair pile up in my heart like dirty laundry, and it overwhelms me, eroding my joy and hope. But God is steadfast in pursuing me, relentless and effective as He exacts growth where I have been pruned. I am learning to trust His skilled hands, and His “superlative goodness”.
Isaiah 43: 1- 3
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior
This amazing chapter of Isaiah has encouraged, refocused, and even demanded much of me. Let me challenge you to read it this season, and be reminded of, and challenged by, His perfect love for you.
He is about to do something new!